I feel down. The feeling you have been knocked out by a sucker punch to the gut. I feel disconnected, demotivated, empty. I want to cry. I really do. But what good would that do me. It would serve me no greater purpose other than to prove to my oppressors of my weakness and supposed ingenuity. I wish I could excrete my sadness in it's brave form, yet this tiny insignificant blog should suffice. My not being voted into that damned council for the sake of my even more damned pride has crushed me to the core. I feel demoted from society. As if my presence among men is to remain unnoticed and silent without emotion except my very self. I fear I might one day become quite mad with the feelings boiled and bottled down here. It seethes inside the body, corroding the innocence of mind and purity of heart. The only thing that could curdle the cream even more so is the fact that several idiots who do not deserve to be in the council are there. It is a mere popularity contest. Of which I have obviously conceded. And no one knows the wiser. I am lonely surely, and almost certain to always be so. To want the very praise of men, empty recognition to savor, for that temporary feeling of wholesomeness. That is the life I am doomed to want but never receive. Perhaps that is also for the better. And for all the good it has done, my Lord is an invisible God of single presence and comforts me, yet still alone. He created woman yet left men to suffer an even worser fate, segregation. Does it make sense? Can any be happy about it? I do not seem to be...